She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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