never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have fence marks all over my body
You were trust falling into bushes
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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