i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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