saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
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he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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