I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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