i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
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if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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