"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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