It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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