she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize