We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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