R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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