That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize