all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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