Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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