oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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