I skipped work to stalk him.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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