she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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