Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize