did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize