I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
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Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize