I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize