How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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