Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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