sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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