There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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