Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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