I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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