i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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