you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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