Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize