Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize