i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
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My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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