I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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