Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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