I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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