i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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