I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
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Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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