My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You are a genius and a whore.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize