You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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