i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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