Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize