I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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