Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize