I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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