come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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