She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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