i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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