There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Let's get the cat blown out
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize