She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize