I wanna bring you to show and tell
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I want to make a zoo with you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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